time to move on...

I suck at this whole blog thing, but here I am.



So it's that time again where the semester ends, summer's here, and you have to decide where you're going for the summer and where you're going to be in the fall. I've made my decision. I'm super anxious, nervous, excited, and scared all at the same time. These past couple of years in Arizona have been some of the greatest of my, so far, life. I've made some of the best friends I could ever ask for, and have gained family that I couldn't imagine my life without. I'm eternally grateful for these bonds I've made and the help that I've received from so many people. When I moved here I never expected to truly find myself. I don't want to toot my own horn, but right now I'm going to (ha). I'm at the best place in my life right now. If you knew me a couple years ago, or maybe just even at the beginning of this year, you would know how much of a different person I am. I don't think I've ever felt this good in my life, and I never thought I would ever be able to say that. I'm so happy! It's so exhilarating and freeing to feel this way. So with me making a lot of changes, I've made the decision to make a huge step. I've moving home to California. It's been a long time since all of my family (my mom, dad, brother, and sister) have lived close to each other. I'm the only one who's not close by anymore, and it's kind of hard for me. Especially now, I think it's so important for me to be with them. Haha it's funny because if you know me, sometimes it seems like I don't really have a family or that I'm an only child. I was raised just a tad differently than most, but I'm still pretty much the same as everyone. Well anyways, I haven't lived in California for a while now, and this is going to be a huge change. I don't have any connection there, friends wise. So when I move there that means making new friends and establishing myself, and putting myself out there. Let's just say I've never had to do that. haha but I'm working on the new me, right? It's also going to be intersting actually liveing with my family again. It's definitely going to be hard and is going to take a lot of work. Hopefully I'll be able to get my own place soon after I move there, but we'll see how that goes. I just want to be closer to my family. Now along with that, I'm going to miss everyone here: Jackie's been there for me through the thick and thin these past 3 years. seriously, 3 years I've known this girl and we're still friends. we haven't killed each other yet, and we've had A LOT of rough patches but our friendship stays strong and she's one of those who's helped me get to where I am now. I'm so lucky to have a friend like her who has accepted me so much. sometimes she was even so kind to share her family with me, and I thank her for that. I'm also going to miss my dear friend Danni. What can I say, Danni was my first real friend up at school. It was a miracle that I was able to connect with a person such as her. Who would've thought that I would find someone like her to actually accept my craziness and even share in it. She's helped me through a lot too, and I can't believe our time together is almost over. I was also lucky enough that my 2 best friends ended up getting along. We all live together plus Julie, and some others but I'm not going to talk about them. I love Julie! She completes our crazy bunch. It's not that often where you can find 4 girls that get along and can actually live together and pretty much spend all our time together. It's hard to believe that I'm giving this all up to go home and be with my family. It's so bitter sweet. Hopefully I'll get the opportunity to come back and visit, or everyone can come visit me.

I'm excited to move home and see what California has to offer me, but I'm also going to miss those times where it's just me and my 3 friends, watching Lost in our apartment in the middle of the day, in our favorite town of Thatcher. Thanks to all of those who've put up with me in my time in Arizona. I really truly appreciate every single one of you. Well, with the rate at which I'm going on writing on my blog, visit it in about a year and I'm sure I will have just put up a new post on how my life has been, but I'll try my best to update it every once in a while. Bon Voyage, and don't forget me!! LOVE YOU!

OH TIME!!!

Why is it that time is of the essence, and everything comes with time, and sometimes it's just not the right time? I'm sick of time! I hate using my time wrong!

I'm ready to be a better person and live up to my own expectations. It's weird being me, just to me, I think. Meaning I think I'm weird. I'm ready to be content with myself, to stop forgetting about myslef. I want to live up to my potential of my "genius" genes. School is so important to me (and yes I know this sounds Ironic, considering the grades I've been recieving). This semester I'm taking my idiotic ways back. By this time next year I will have a hold on my life.

WELCOME TO 2009!!!

the holiday spirit

ok, so for the most part this blog isn't going to be about the holiday spirit. haha I was just listening to chris brown singing a christmas song and it inspired my title. little fact, I LOVE CHRIS BROWN. he has such an amazing voice. on a different note, I know it's been forever since I've written a new blog. I'm really sorry you avid missy blog readers. I constanty am saying that I'm going to update this thing and frequently post new blogs, but I never do. the only time I do is when Danni tells me to.

so where to start.... well I moved out of the house I was living in with my cousin. things were interesting over there. don't get me wrong, it was a nice place to live, but I would much rather live where I'm living now than living at the other house again. My roomates are bomb diggity, of course. I especially like it cause we all know each other and we all hangout together. now that's where it's at. and that's a picture of all of us at the top. this stupid thing isn't doing what I want it to, so there it stays.

this semester I've been using a lot of my spare time looking up random facts. haha I know it sounds boring and really dumb, but I love it. most of you knowing me, you should understand how I like to know a lot. some of the stuff I've found out is really interesting, and sometimes when I recite them, my roomates tell me that they're all wrong. they may be wrong, especially since I found them on the internet, but until rpoven wrong, I believe all of them... and they have yet to prove me wrong! ha so what else... school is for fools! ok maybe not, but I sure feel like a fool. but the thing is that I love school. I don't know what it is. I guess it goes along with the fact that I like reading random facts. I guess I just like learning. it makes me feel complete. for some of you who are wondering if there are any men in my life I would have to say no. ha not saying that any of you are wondering. it's funny to me that I also really don't care. sure, there are those times that I wish I had someone to hold me and tell me I'm beautiful, but I guess the reason I'm ok with not having that is because I never had it. o well, my day will come. till then I'm really contemplating going on a mission. I would really love it if I could leave tomorrow, but I don't think that's going to happen. so for now I'm planning and will start preparing one, even though it'll be about a year or so away.

well, I promise to post again soon. for now, I have to go to work to make the ends meat. haha ok so I'm definitly going to blog again soon because I have some funny stories.

my short (and lonely) summer

So basically I still deciding whether or not moving to California for the summer was such a great idea.  I had such big plans: getting a job, making the bucks, and traveling back and forth to Arizona as I pleased.  Well, that's definitely not how things have turned out.  Pretty much employers are the slowest people ever! They take there sweet time to decide whether or not they want you to work there. I mean come on people, why can't you just work around my schedule. haha ok all of you know that I'm not that conceited, but seriously it was getting frustrating, especially since my mother expected me to get a job as soon as I stepped foot into this dang state.  anyways, let's just say that we have had a few tiffs, but hey, what mother and daughter doesn't. alrighty, so back to the job. I ended up getting a job and I was also supposed to have this other job, but the guy didn't call me back until 2 weeks later! seriously, ridiculous. o well... one thing I can say that's a plus about working in California is that the minimum wage is higher, and I most definitely get much better pay here than I would have if I stayed in Arizona. Before I was blessed (o yes, I do mean blessed) to finally get a job, I was seriously contemplating moving back to Arizona.  Let me tell ya, Arizona was lookin pretty good from my point of view. It's funny that everyone always wants to get away from Arizona and come to California, but truthfully I would much rather stay in the big AZ. California's great and all but it sure ain't home.  Don't get me wrong, the whole reason why I came down here was so that I could spend more time with my mom and my little sister (who, by the way, is a teenager now and is so weird to be around haha).  Anyways, it's been nice getting to spend time with them, but it definitely is a completely different experience living with them than it was living with my dad and brother.  It's even way different from living with Margaret.  Now that was an adventure. Can't wait to see what sort of chaos is going to be brought into our new "living quarters" next semester.  So back to the fam... I think that my mother is taking huge advantage to the fact that I'm a licensed driver, therefore she can use me as my sister's personal chauffeur. But hey, I have nothing else to do so why not, which brings me back to the title of this whole entry. Being lonely is the suckiest thing ever! I miss being in Arizona so much, especially since I don't get to see all of my people! haha but apparently they're missing me too because I am constantly getting phone calls from them. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love it! Seriously, if I was down here and I wasn't being able to keep in touch with Jackie or Danni I have no idea what the heck I would do all day. Literally, about 1/4 of my day is spent talking on the phone with them. Some may think that's pathetic, but seriously... I'M LONELY!!! I know you're probably thinking that I should go and find some people out here to hang out with, but that's a big no no.  It's hard enough for me to get people to not look at me like I'm some ALIEN, let alone talk to me.  haha ok maybe I'm a little over exaggerating, but in a way I'm not.  California people are brutal! If you're not in their "crowd" or don't know a member of their "crowd" then you can forget it. For instance, I show up to singles ward expecting someone to approach me (because we all know that when you go to singles ward, at least one person is going to say something to you) and I got nothing! HUGE shocker! plus everybody is already all set up in their little groups, and they all have their little "buddy" to tag along with as a buffer. I've got none of that, and in this town, that stuff is critical. Enough about that, let's see... ok so work. I love it! Jackie and I have discussed it, and both agree that retail is the best job for us.  All the other jobs I've ever had (that number only coming to a whopping 2) were sooo boring and completely not me.  Retail speaks to me. haha I feel weird saying that, but seriously. There is always something to do. Yes, folding clothes and cleaning up the customers' messes is a large part, but it's something to do. You're always on your feet, and I think that helps a lot.  The people are nice, but just as normal, they're all already cliquish and seem to have this huge barrier where no one else is allowed in. o well, I'm only going to be there for about 3 more weeks anyways.  O ya! I am 19 years old now. I always tell Jackie that if I were a boy I could be on a mission right now. She thinks it's weird that I say that, but I think it's pretty logical. Not saying that I want to be a boy or anything, but since I know that I'm not going to be getting married anytime soon I think it would be a great opportunity to take, that is if they let girls go on their mission when they were 19. But it's fine, I totally understand that that's not the case.  Anyways, let me say something about Danni or she's going to kill me if I don't mention her.  um, let's see... nope, I've got nothin.  haha just kidding Danni. Danni, if most if you don't know, is my best friend from school.  She calls me everyday to give me an update on all the things that I'm missing out on this summer up in Thatcher.  well, she doesn't do that all the time, but basically she can't live with out me. Psh, who can blame her. alright, maybe it's not completely like that, but it's good to know that I'm being missed. and of course Jackie Lynn never let's me forget that either. I'm actually pretty excited because this coming up weekend I get the opportunity to head up to Holly Lake again with her family. O how I love you guys (since you guys are basically the only ones who read my blog)! I can't wait to see what this trip will have in store for us! well, that's about it. I promise I'll try to update this as often as possible, because I know I not the best at doing that. Anyways, until then, PEACE OUT!!!

New Pictures!

ok.... so maybe these aren't that new, but they were from halloween and you guys haven't seen them yet, so technically they are. anyways, danni and I were hippies, margaret was of course a devil (haha), and lacy was, well she was, um... I'll let you figure that one out on your own.

PEACE!!!

so... everyone in the towers has a name for their pod. the boys next door were the first ones to put theirs' up. their name is the MAN CAVE. some of the girls in our pod had the brilliant idea of naming our room the MANLIER CAVE... ya sorry, that did not flow with us because we aren't men!!! DUH!!! so we asked them if we could take it down... they said yes, so we did and then we made another poster that everyone seemed to be fine with (since we of course asked first.... another DUH on their part). so all of a sudden I come home one day and the poster is hanging on our door to get into my room. of course I asked who did this and who other than KIMBER was the culperate. I haven't told you guys about her yet. she lives in the room next to us in our pod. she never showers, so you know when she's out, cause it literally reaks of BO!!! I know that sounds really mean but if you had to live with it, you would not be bothered about what I'm saying about her. I mean seriously, just cause you're not at home doesn't mean that your mom still has to tell you when to take a shower. you should know when other people start telling you that you need to. she also has these fish that keep DYING!!! yes dying, and she won't take them out, so that frikin reaks too. anyways, margaret asked her why she would take our sign down, and first she said it was stupid and that second of all we didn't ask HER!!! SPECIFICALLY!!! holy moly woman... we asked everyone, maybe she just didn't get the memo!!! so she is making this whole big deal and everyone is about fed up with eachother.... so I say, LET'S MAKE PEACE!!! in honor of this entry, lacey dressed me as a hippie, so hope you like my BLAST FROM THE PAST!!! just remember people... PEACE makes everyone happy!!!

coasting

yesterday I got out of school at 10... and I was supposed to go to seminar for institute, but instead I did my roommates hair. now it was 12 and I was starving from not eating all day. anyways... I called up Danni and we decided to go to sonic. we were sitting there waiting for our food for forever. while we sat, we reminisced on that one time that we went up to the mountain with Spencer and Clint. ha ha... ya she was one of those girls that I said was stupid. funny how things work out, huh? so we decided that we should go back up and try and find the meadow. so we start driving up there. on the way up there are a lot of blind spots and you kind of have to drive on the other side in order to make it around the curve. well... Danni's car is a stick shift and on this one corner all of a sudden 3 cars come around the corner and we have to hit the breaks. hahahahaha... so she slams it into 1st and we start peeling out. IT WAS HILARIOUS!!! when we were coming back we were able to see them, so now we know that we have made our mark on the mountain. anyways... we just keep going and going, trying to find this meadow. pretty soon we realize that we don't have so much gas left. it kept fluctuating down and up, so we decided that it was more empty than full. we turned around and I told her that we should just coast down the mountain so that when we get down we still have enough gas to at least get to a gas station. so we start coasting. next thing we know, we hit a flat part and the car is barely moving. she had to press the gas a little for us to go. well this didn't happen the next time we hit a flat part. we had this "brilliant" idea to get out of the car and start running while pushing it!!! it was insane!!! I almost fell on the way out, haha and it's a good thing no one saw us, otherwise we would have felt like even bigger idiots. haha... so we keep running and then we see a huge slant coming up, so we have to hop back in the car. well Danni pretty much almost died when she did that. she was so scared that she jumped to hard and hit the steering wheel!! hahahahaha... so pretty much we had nothing better to do yesterday, other than driving up to the mountain and coasting down. I do admit that it was really fun, and even better that I have another good story to put on here.